BRING ON THE NEW YEAR'S SUNDAAAAAAAAAAAY LOVE!!!
Well, the past week saw a couple of important things: First… CHRISTMAS!!! I've heard from many of you that you had wonderful holidays, and that the Sunday Love wish list was even effective in some cases (most notably Whitney's), and, I hope that you all got everything your heart desired (or in Nicole's case, everything the slightly-chilly-area-near-the
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Yes, I know, other people's family pictures are about as exciting as a Kenny G concert, but hey, they're cute kids…
Anyhoo, it was only a couple days later that we were back in STAPLES Center, and hosting the Suns for the first half of a home and home. It's no secret that our team hasn't been playing fantastic basketball lately – but we are slowly starting to get some missing pieces back and having a point guard that doesn't look like your neighbor's kid or slightly taller and less talented Gary Coleman was a welcome change. Of course, Sam did have a few weeks of rust to knock off… and it showed in the first game. Let's be honest, Wednesday night's game was probably the worst we've had this year. I saw more excitement at UCLA's post Las Vegas Bowl party… (sorry, Coach) People were literally leaving in the third quarter, and those were Suns fans! The game also featured one very bad joke by yours truly during Clippers Tonight, a halftime act with the only woman alive who can take off a dress faster than Kristen M., the first "booing" I've heard in three years.
But thankfully, we had a chance on the following night to redeem ourselves, both as fans and as a basketball team – and so commenced the second-ever Game Night Road Trip! And what a trip it was… First off, a huge hats-off to the Millers for hosting, driving, and funding the lion's share of the venture… way above and beyond anything we could have expected… and it certainly wouldn't have happened without you! Second, thanks to everyone who came: Tiffany M., Brittany, Tiffany C., Whitney, Melissa, David S., David W., Joey, and yours truly. Everyone brought a little something different to the trip, and really made it an event.
Because I know you're waiting for them… the pictures:
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As for a rundown, it's hard to know where to start… the road trip out started a little later than we'd hoped, but once underway from the Millers' beautiful homestead in Anaheim, we quickly commenced the "Catchphrase" marathon, from which David and Joey emerged perpetually victorious, and Whitney unable to secure victory regardless of which she played on. We set up Guitar Hero in the back and learned that Whitney and Edamame are at least better than Joey at something. We feasted at a roadside Arby's and nearly lost David S. in the men's room – but in case you're ever in such a situation, you can rest easy if Whitney is along on your trip… she's totally ok with poking her head in the bathroom door and shouting your name to a bunch of strangers like your mom at the mall when you were eight. It wasn't too long before the road sleeps took over and naps were had by many. At some point (I'm not sure when because I crashed out in the middle of playing Guitar Hero) the movies started and "The Kingdom" had everyone who was still awake glued to their seats. For those who couldn't follow along with the plot, T. Chen was providing running commentary and quick explanations if you got a little lost… We got to the hotel about 15 minutes before the end of the movie, and because we were cutting it close, had to pause it while we all got rooms and got ready.
Everybody got all Clippered-up, and we headed out on foot the arena, only a block or so away. Tom arranged for us to meet up with the Suns dance team, and it was no sooner that we walked in that Joey had one of them up in lib and we were talking like old friends. Funny thing is about the Suns girls, they don't have a stunt team, but they do have a Varsity and JV dance team… or as they like to call them, "lower level" and "upper level" named after the part of the arena they get to perform in. Seriously, it's like working at Abercrombie & Fitch… there "front of the store" kids and "stock room" kids… don't worry though… our girls would all definitely be "lower level" performers… you gotta love how no matter where we go – we always have the most beautiful girls (and the best dancers… right, Whit?)!
So, the game was a lot closer than most folks expected and we were loud and rowdy throughout (exactly like everyone expected) – making plenty of new friends in Phoenix. Some highlights:
Face painting – Friday night lights, style… The guy didn't have any blue, though…
Cuttino waving to all of us from the bench…
David S. and I getting gratuitous camera time while dancing, and D Tumblz standing between us not dancing (guess he's starting that straight-month thing early)… and not to forget Joey, sitting on the end trying really hard not to look embarrassed – actually he wasn't trying that hard…
The three Dungeons and Dragons Club members behind us trying to talk trash, with their team both winning the game and leading the Western Conference … and still coming up short…
The look on Tom's face … I'd call it a What-have-I-done? sort of thing…
The girls getting boo'ed, but still yelling at each opposing free-throw shooter…
Turning "De-fense" into "Clip-pers" (again)…
Seeing Ralph again, and this time having him know we were there…
My sudden and irrational urge to take self-portraits with every Suns fan I saw (see photos)…
Giving out Clippers Nation wristbands to kids and seeing the look on their parents' faces…
All in all, it was quite a night… now, in the interest of full disclosure, I have to admit, that I had a little to drink at the event, and I may have gotten a little bit aggro with a security guy who insisted that I not put one of the girls on my shoulders behind a post-game broadcast, even though like six other Suns fans were doing it… I also may have confused him with one of the referees and claimed that he was making a "homer call"… also (I know, sorry Coach, there's an "also") I may be on camera giving my Clippers manifesto… which Edamame may have to upload to YouTube… what can I say? I'm a passionate fan …
The evening after the game was a little short for me, and using let's-see-if-he-can-still-play CatchPhrase metric for how awake I was didn't prove as accurate as suspected. But apparently the unintentionally funny bodily functions group has a new member. Now, I wasn't there – but I have it on good authority (meaning four different people, including T. Chen, told me) that Edamame gets a little flatulent when spanked… or maybe a lot flatulent. Okay, okay, she farts when spanked… which begs the question: why was she being spanked? Actually, that is a good question… Joey, why was she being spanked? Well, no matter what, consider yourself warned.
The road trip back was a little less jubilant – but fun nonetheless, as we stopped for Mexican food with a mariachi band consisting of one guy with a guitar and another with a harp. Yes, a harp. But they were really good and played, at our request, the song from the opening of Desperado. Sanchez was ordering double-secret Mexican drinks that weren't on the menu and we finally got to pay for something for Tom…
By the time we got home – folks were piling back into cars and heading home for the night, but there were many hugs and laughs, and I'm quite certain it was the best Fan Patrol-Spirit trip ever.
Now it's going to be New Year's Eve tomorrow night, so I figured I would once again forego the props section, and go with some proposed New Years resolutions for everyone:
Coach – to stunt at least once at a Clippers game, to root for a winning team, and to get carded at least once.
Shannon – to smile during warm-ups, to pay attention even with a boyfriend in the building, and to have even more pairs of cool socks.
Whitney – to wear sweatpants that fit, to do your favorite dance move high enough to get it on camera, and to finally get up the nerve to ask Keifer Sutherland out.
Taylor – to use your unfettered access to young, single doctors to hook some of your teammates up…, to get more excuses to wear business suits at games, and to finally see a Navy football game live.
Kristin E. – to hang out with teammates that live in Burbank more often, to completely kick the crap out of your students at the Studio City Sonki Boot Camp, and to develop a signature dance move that the FP can copy and mock you with…
Harmony – to add even more teammates to your client list, to find a way to teach others how to get into that amazing shape, and to laugh at at least one of Glenn's jokes.
Ashley R. – to date someone shorter than six foot, to go on tour, and to see a lot more hockey.
Rachel – to say at least one funny thing out loud on the court (no "old" jokes), to come on one FP-Spirit trip, and to get carded with Coach.
Tiffany C. – to stunt at a game, to start publishing movie synopses for the inattentive or just-plain-stupid viewer, and to try not to laugh every time you think about Edamame's "spanking" incident.
Edamame – to burp loud enough in front of everyone that they forget about the "other" gas incident, to bring sunglasses to wear on those trips where you're going to have the "sleepy eyes" the next day, and to please, please wear that black dress to an FP-Spirit outing…
Kelley – to start reading Sunday Love again (I promise to try and make it funnier), to try and write down some of your traffic rants (they're really quite entertaining), and to (sometime before 2009) activate your XM Radio.
Lynae – to eat something, to be as funny as you are outside the locker room as you are inside it, and to hang with the FP at least once before the end of the season
Alex – to wear your Snow White costume out to a non-costume party (trust me, no one will complain), to continue to wear that amazing smile at every opportunity, and to come along on an away-game trip.
Laura – to have at least one more Game Night event at the family bar, to teach your teammates at least one decent line dance, and to have Henry do at least one more beach photo shoot.
Tiffany M. – to never, ever again mess with someone's prescription medication, to continue to plan awesome trips for the Game Night crew, and get a whole lot better at CatchPhrase.
Nina R. – to do something more memorable than baring your midriff for Glenn to put in Sunday Love…
Brittany – to, while spending more than 36 hours with teammates, say more than 8 things!!! to continue to kick butt in school, and to come back for another season of craziness.
Nicole C. – to more vocally represent for your Bruins, to get at least one photo shoot done (which you may choose to share, at your option, with the FP), and to get your broker's license? (scratch if you already have it)
Ashley S. – to please, please do something to get back into Sunday Love, or should I start looking in Us Weekly, or on TMZ for gossip about you?
Tami – to continue to represent at Open Gym, to help Tiffany C. get a gig planning parties, and to maybe get a hold of that diamond ring this year…
Summer – to come to at least one non-mandatory FP event, to get the high-split pyramid named after you, too, and to start dressing a little more like a longshoreman (this involved a lot more flannel, FYI).
Nina E. – to stop worrying about how you look in those red shorts (trust me, it's all good), to get up into the stands with the more vocal FP members more, and to totally hold out for the earrings and the trip…
Nicole B. – to speak up in the locker room, to teach at least one person from the FP how to "totally shred", and to please stop torturing that intern…
Nate – to heal more quickly, to grow out at least a small patch of hair on your head (or maybe just a goatee), and to always have an emergency stash of pain killers at games
Leslie – to stop distracting Glenn with that "shake" thing you do, to stop pretending like you "don't know", and to finally get a decent fake ID
Kristen M. – well, there's the obvious one, but I won't go there… so to please, please stop sharing your cell phone videos (I think Nina may be scarred for life)...
Katie - to beat the rest of us into some respectable shape, to come to a lot more games, and to find a summer wardrobe as cute as your winter one...
Josh - to rest long enough to actually heal, to get the FP to actually listen during pre-game, and to get maybe just one more cool tattoo
Joey - to be a whole lot nicer to Glenn in the locker room, to get a whole lot better at Guitar Hero, and drive a whole lot less...
D-Tumblz - to have a great "Straight February", to get a little crazier when out on floor with me and Dave, and to get that toss cupie.
Dave Sanchez - to come back for season SEVEN, to keep me from killing myself on my Indo Board, to shred as many waves and mountains as possible, to continue to achieve and still never forget where you came from, to find out why we didn't get invited back to judge your sister's contest, and keep calling me out when I do something stupid...
Arturo - to be nicer to your spine, to keep that amazing positive attitude, even if we're twenty games under .500, and to come on at least one FP trip
Cortlin - to sit at least once with the proletariat on the upper level at STAPLES, to sweat a little less, or talk a little less about it, and to adjust yourself a little more discreetly
And don't forget Sunday Love QUOTES:
"Well, it's not like you all haven't had sex in my bed or anything…" - Kristen M. arguing with her roommates in the locker room… and taking the over-share to a brand new level. Note to self: bring CSI light if ever staying over at Kristen's… and Clorox.
"Well, they started off hard, got soft, and then got hard again" – David W. in the locker room, talking about cookies. What did you think he was talking about?! Perverts…
"There are going to be balls flying all over the arena!" - and the award for worst copy to accompany a promotion in STAPLES goes to…
"Mr. and Mrs. Miller I farted…" (pause for goading by teammates) "…after Joey spanked me" – Edamame… Classic.
"You watch Oprah?" – and the award for flattest on-camera joke goes to…
"Sometimes you just want to try something new" – David W. talking about changing sexuality like it's picking a favorite ice cream flavor. Nice.
"Girls, I have a serious question… guys cover your ears… Are my boobs too big?" – Stripper girl outside of Marleje's (bar in downtown Phoenix) talking to our table when she found out who we were and wanted to try out for the Spirit. She asked with a straight face. Whitney and I had different answers to her question…
Okay all, no college football this week... but hey, the Pats are 16-0 and it's time to start watching the NFL Playoffs!
I just want to take this opportunity to wish all of you the happiest of New Years... It's been a pleasure to spend this year with each of you and I'm looking forward to the year to come. Here's the only lyrics you need to know tonight...
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And auld lang syne?
For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne,
We'll tak a cup o' kindness yet,
For auld lang syne.
auld lang syne literally means "old long since"—but a more idiomatic English translation would be something like "long long ago", "days of long ago", "in olden days", or even "once upon a time". "For old time's sake" or "to the good old days" may be modern-day expressions, in common use as a toast, that capture the spirit of "for auld lang syne."
Here's to our "good old days", the ones we're making every day this season.God bless you all. Happy 2008!
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